Driving in the UAE for Dummies

One of the main things that people complain about here in the UAE is the traffic/crazy drivers. When we lived in the States, Steve was constantly berating me for my aggressive driving. When we moved here, he told me to go for it. There is nothing passive about the roads here.

After living here for almost 3 years I have come to the conclusion that driving in the UAE is a defensive activity. In the U.S. driving is mainly an offensive endeavor. As long as you are paying attention to your own actions in most cases, you will be fine. Here that is not the case. I have found that there are certain vehicles/individuals that you MUST steer clear of. In fact, I have compiled a little list of the people/things that you should avoid:

1. FJ-Cruisers.

2. Any car that is worth more than my house (there are a lot of those here).

3. Taxis.

4. Large SUVs driven by tiny women.

5. Cars with heavily tinted windows and sunscreens over the windshield while in motion (this is no-brainer…..and yes, it does happen here).

6. Any vehicle with yellow and black arrows on the back of it.

7. White Lexuses (any model).

In my experiences, numbers 1, 3, and 4 apply internationally.

As a footnote, I would like to say that I for one hate generalizations like this. I don’t imply if you drive one of the above vehicles that you are a bad driver……I just have had bad experiences (on several occasions) with them.

I know several people that actually refuse to drive out of fear here. And I do admit that there are times that I am a little nervous (especially in certain areas), but I have driven in worse places and in more challenging situations (driving ambulances in Washington, D.C. comes to mind). At least here I don’t have to worry about the driver next to me having a gun.

I had a conversation with an Egyptian woman who lives here in the UAE once about driving. If anyone thinks driving in the UAE is crazy, they should check out Egypt. Some of the stories she told me were unbelievable. In Egypt when you turn 18, you simply get your license in the mail. No one is required to go through driver’s education or pass a test. This made me wonder how many other third-world countries have the same licensing process. Since about 70% of the population here is from these third-world countries, it’s no wonder that people don’t stay in their lanes, watch where they are going, or use their signals.

The thing that makes me the most mad in regards to driving here is watching individuals from Western countries (who know better) do stupid things. For example: There is a four-way stop in our neighborhood (the majority of inhabitants are expatriates from Western countries). It seems that many of my neighbors have forgotten what the word STOP means (even though the sign is written in English and Arabic). I actually had a man honk his horn at me the other day when he ran his stop sign and came very close to hitting my car. This blonde, blue-eyed stranger then rolled down his window and told me in a perfect English accent that I was crazy! This whole when in Rome attitude really does drive me bonkers.

As we count down to our move back to the U.S., there are certain things that I come across every day here that make me sad about leaving the UAE (like the weather and good friends), but there are also things that I will not miss at all (like the crazy drivers).

P.S. Someone remind me of this post when I have been back in the States for a while and I start complaining about crazy D.C. traffic/drivers!!!!!!

Another Birthday

As I celebrate another birthday I have come to the realization that:

1. I am getting old and

2. Not much is going to top my 40^th celebration.

My friends here in Abu Dhabi were privy to my 40th celebrations, but there are many others who were not. So, I thought I would take you down memory lane.

The only thing that I asked for on my 40^th was a party (at which I would get extremely inebriated) and that if there was some kind of surprise that I be presentable when it happened. I still have flashbacks of my surprise on my 30^th where I showed up without makeup or my hair done to a party full of everyone I knew.

So, the week before my 40^th I made sure I was made up at every possible moment just in case such a surprise was to come upon me again. I had told Steve I wanted to go to a nice Chinese restaurant the night of my birthday because they were having a Chinese New Year’s celebration. A few days later he informed me that he had made reservations for dinner and had gotten a sitter. I immediately became suspicious because Steve does not make reservations and he has NEVER arranged for a sitter. I knew that there would be a surprise waiting for me at the restaurant. This was confirmed when Steve became extremely agitated when the sitter was 15 minutes late. That night I made every effort to make myself look beautiful for all the pictures that were to be taken.

Sure enough…..when we got to the restaurant several of our friends were there shouting surprise to me and I acted shocked that they would all be there. We had an amazing dinner and then went to a nearby bar for some drinks. I was a little disappointed with my fellow partiers however when they didn’t show much enthusiasm and we went home fairly early (and I was not nearly drunk enough).

The next day my girlfriends and I had made plans to go to brunch and then spend a few hours at the spa for my birthday. So, at noon I was at one of the local hotels (nicely made up again) partaking in a lovely buffet and unlimited sparkling wine. I think there were a couple of margaritas in there as well. I thought I would take advantage since I didn’t the night before.

Needless to say I was feeling fine when we went off to the spa and I enjoyed several different treatments including a facial (no more makeup) and a full body massage (hair oily and a mess). All my friends tried to get me to get my hair done before we left, but everyone else was done and I didn’t want to hold them all up. As I was waiting for my toes to dry (at least they looked good), my friend Jess suggested that we all get some kind of take out for dinner at her house that night. I readily agreed since I was feeling very relaxed at this point and had no desire to cook. I called Steve and told him to pack up the girls and meet us at Jess’s house for dinner.

Looking back if I weren’t so intoxicated I might have noticed the whispered exchanges between my friends and the frantic texting going on all around me. Later Jess told me she was breaking into a cold sweat every five minutes all day long. But, I had no idea and was totally oblivious to everything that was going on around me.

When we got to Jess’s house I was confronted by about 20 Angies (they were all holding up masks made from a picture of me) screaming and drenching me in silly spray. This was very disconcerting to me (especially considering the amount of alcohol that I had consumed that day). It took me a full five minutes before I realized what the heck was going on. They had managed to take me totally by surprise (and yes without makeup and my hair done…..although Steve did bring my makeup bag with him this time).

The party went on into the wee hours and I consumed more alcohol than was wise (including most of a bottle of Patron). I had an incredible time and I won’t be likely to forget that celebration (although there are snippets of the night that are missing from my memory). I was reminded for the next two days of how much I had celebrated because that’s how long the hangover lasted. I can’t adequately thank my friends for such an amazing surprise and party…..but just know that paybacks are hell. J

This year was very low key which was fine by me. I told most of my friends and Steve that I did enough celebrating last year to last me through a few more. I helped a good friend enter her 3^rd decade on my birthday this year and although I remember my 30^th fondly….I can honestly say that I would never go back there. Being 41 is just fine with me. I have an amazing life with an amazing family and I am surrounded by amazing friends (wherever I go).

In conclusion I have decided that:

1. Getting older is just fine with me. AND

2. I am not going anywhere without makeup for a month before and after my 50^th!